Guarding Your Fetus

On the second last day of our road trip across South Island in New Zealand, we camped at one of the campsites around Lake Ohau. This was a suggestion given to us by one of the locals we befriended and in hindsight, it turned out to be one of the best spots of our trip.

The campsite opened up to the lake with waters flushing over the shore, ever so slowly as if to remind you to slow down. On the other side of it was a little forest, with beech trees and enough green to keep you occupied for days.

It was here we dissolved into nothingness, as if time had paused. The only reminder of time we had was the sound of waves, the color of the sky and the movement of the clouds.

I felt a wave of calmness & peace wash over me. All the emotional knots I had been carrying around with me began to slowly unfold, until they completely dissolved with the clouds & the water. All that was left behind was a clear mind and a voice unafraid to speak her truth.

It was here, it struck me, that as a human, my sole purpose was to guard & grow my fetus.

It is the fetus of potential that lives & grows within each of us, given the right conditions.

It is the fetus that allows for bold & creative expression, in whatever that might be for you.

It is the fetus that sharpens character, imbues wisdom & helps us live a life of purpose.

This fetus grows within each of us, however, whether it remains a fetus or not is a result of the life we live and the decisions we make. This is entirely a function of our parenting — how well we parent the fetus.

Remember the one time you spoke so courageously that it shook you to your very bone?

Remember the time when you had the wisdom to respond to violence with kindness and it took all of your strength to do it, but you did it anyway?

Remember when you began to write poetry and the words flowed like a river from within you?

Remember when you took to the dancefloor and your body moved so intuitively that your mind could barely keep up with its pace?

Remember when you really understood someone else’s perspective?

Or the time you painted for hours at an end and lost track of time?

Or the time when you committed an act of kindness and needed no validation for it?

Or when you began to acknowledge your traumas and became your own healer?

Or when you voiced an intent so strong in the universe that it manifested in the most unexpected of ways?

Or when you listened to a friend, and listened so closely that you felt your heart connect?

All these magical moments, for me, are sparks of our fetus, of possibility that lives within each of us. As the parent, I believe, it is our duty to protect it and provide the right conditions for it to grow & flourish. That means, to protect it against our own corruption too, which is the hardest bit.

It is knowing that the society, our past, our traumas, and people will corrupt us in many different ways. In some situations, we might come to define ourselves as a mere product of these experiences. I hope in these times, we have the wisdom to remind ourselves that the fetus still lives and still needs us to heal & provide for it so it can flourish to it’s full potential.

I call my baby fetus, Vhagar (which means fiery silence), the dragon from the Game of Thrones. Vhagar exists as a potential, not a reality. It only becomes Vhagar if I provide the right conditions for it, which has implications on your entire life from the food you consume, the words you speak, the actions you take, the books you read and most importantly, your beliefs which underpin all your choices.

What would your grown fetus look like and feel like?

Ending it with a quote from Bruce Lee,

“Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one’s potential.”