My Life’s Terms & Conditions

4 min readMay 24, 2024

In the shower, I was singing along to “My Way” by Frank Sinatra…..

“And now the end is near…..And so I face the final curtain….. I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain….. I’ve lived a life that’s full….I traveled each and every highway…..
And much more than this….. I DID IT MY WAY!”

I’ve loved this song for years but today, it hit different. In all honesty, singing the chorus in an awfully high pitched voice actually got me to tears. I felt the words so earnestly, as if my own life was nearing the end and all that mattered was that I had lived it on my own terms. When I came to think of it like that, that’s all that will really matter, to me any way.

That I lived my life on my own terms!

So what do my terms look like, after 28 years of experiencing life?

CURIOSITY

Curiosity is an innate characteristic of being a human. We all are curious, however, operate at various spectrums of curiosity. For myself, I want to continue to live from a place of HIGH curiosity, because it feels like home. The sensation I feel when I’m curious is light-headedness but in the body. It’s not as easy though. The toughest situations where I have to strive to be curious is when I hold preconceptions about people & situations and come into conversations with a filter of judgement, almost waiting for my confirmation bias to kick in and prove me right so I can say “I KNEW I WAS RIGHT!”

Another tough one is when I have to meet with experienced leaders & my fear sometimes dominates the conversations, telling me “You don’t know enough” or “You’re not smart enough” or “What you said doesn’t make sense” so cajoling the fear child away to go play in the fields of my psyche & bringing my curious child back is a challenge that’s steadily getting easier. I notice how uplifted & nourished I feel (feelings are a good feedback mechanism to rely on to know what feels like YOU) when I function from a place of curiosity so that must be one of my terms.

EMBRACING CHANGE

Change is SO DAMN HARD but as we know it, the only constant. It’s perplexing how we’re given this paradox to live with — our bodies & minds get so comfortable in a constant environment & yet, the way they thrive is by embracing change, much like all the life around us. Meditation has helped me find home within myself which makes me believe that it might be the true home where my body & mind can rest and from this center of rest, we embrace change. This also translates itself to people I wish to journey on this road of life with — people who are not afraid to break away from patterns & behaviors, people who are embracing change at their own pace & sharpening their inner power like a sword. This also translates itself into a quality wherein you can challenge the status quo or the way things are done around you — things don’t have to be the way they are just because it’s always been like that, if there is a better way to do things, we must move towards it. This also means accepting that my terms will change as I age. Let the tide of change flow unrestricted.

VULNERABILITY

Growing up & even until now, I always held myself to high ideals — I must get good grades otherwise I won’t be smart, I must have abs otherwise I won’t be fit, I must attend good universities otherwise I won’t be valued. In pursuit of societal goals, I found a lot of things that I hold dear to me & have made me who I am like realizing that I was only human. There was a big gap between the ideals I held for myself & the reality in which I functioned. I observed myself over & over and realized that I was glossing over my vulnerabilities. I was simply scared that I won’t be viewed by the world a certain way. When I started letting go (still a process), I started opening up in my conversations & later my blogs like this one. Writing helped me embrace & process my vulnerabilities.

Then, I met people who resonated with what I wrote & I realized over & over that what makes us human and what makes us connect is our vulnerabilities. “Do you get scared people will judge you? Are you still being hard on yourself for something you did 5 years ago? Do you NOT know what you want in life? Does your negativity scare you? Do you still have the defense mechanisms you erected when you were 10? Do you mistake your thoughts for YOU? GUESS WHAT ME TOO!” So being vulnerable became one of my terms. I wanted to know people & myself in that space.

To all who read my blog and some who make the effort to message me after reading my pieces, I am grateful beyond measure that we connected (and continue to connect) over my writing. Rick Rubin sums this up well.