You are always home
I got my period today. Usually, on my first day, I would incorporate a Yoga routine to intentionally slow down and connect with my body. I put on a Yin Yoga routine on YouTube. The girl began with a slow gentle child’s pose with 432 HZ music in the background. As she began settling into her child’s pose, she says,
“You are always home in your body. There is nowhere for you to be but here. I know the world can be a heavy place sometimes so retreating back to ourselves, coming home to the beautiful place that is your body is a necessary step for us to heal. Know that you are always being carried by yourself. You are always a safe space for you to return to.”
I felt a tear or two collect at the edge of my eyes. I felt so much love and admiration for my body, the fiercest of warriors. I began to really empathise with my body for carrying me around with pride for all these years.
There was that one time when I really abused it at CrossFit. I kept working out until all the cells in my body gave up. I pushed it to the very limit. And then some more. Yet, my body carried me with pride. Like a healer, waiting to heal me after I tired out.
There was another time when I really abused it with alcohol. I was out with friends, one drink became two until two became a number I didn’t remember. The night was blurry. Yet, my body carried me with pride. Like a parent, heralding the child to go home when it’s time.
There was one other time when I danced for hours. I couldn’t get myself to stop for I love dancing so much. I heard whispers of my body, hinting to slow down. I whispered back, “We’ll be okay” and I danced until the night gave out. Yet, my body carried me with pride. Like a companion, waiting to carry me home once I was ready.
Then there was another time when I tried headstand for the very first time. I was so scared of being upside down. I didn’t trust I could hold myself. Yet, my body carried me with pride. Like a girlfriend, it guffawed at me while yelling, “JUST TRUST ME! I’ve got you.”
There were the darker times too. Years ago, when I tried to cut my wrists because the world seemed so dark. It seemed to want to swallow me whole. Yet, my body carried me with pride. Like a doctor, it treated my scars until they faded away with time, just like my naiveté.
This is a love letter to my body. I bow down before you, for you are the only home I will ever need. You are the home I want to decorate with ornaments, expensive china & love that emanates from every window. You are my wealth. Thank you for an incredible 28 years and here’s to ever more!
